Archives For Life

It’s been awhile since there were any updates. Work, writing, and trying to find an apartment has been the real focus at the moment.

And binge watching shows or watching hours upon K-pop music videos to escape the pain and suffering of living.

There’s nothing like the bubblegum pop jams of a bunch of cute women dancing their asses off. And men too. Don’t forget the men. (Example, NCT U – “Baby, Don’t Stop.”

At the moment, my body is recovering from a spell of the springtime cold. It’s shit. Coughing up white phlegm is shit. Annoying as shit. Inhaling slowly, there’s that tickling sensation that’s definitely going to morph into a coughing fit.

Anyway, let’s just jump to what has happened.

1. May 4th — promoted to an Academic Assistant.

2. May 7th — Bunny’s application is finalized(!)

3. May 13th — finished a short script

4. May 18th — an unexpected resignation resulted in an additional title change to include “EAP Coordinator.”

Grinding has paid off a little. Now the next step is to finalize the living accommodation situation, which is a whole another level of a challenge.



Sometimes it feels like there’s this focus to constantly try to please others into liking you. And sometimes it feels like you’re amputating parts of your personality and interests rather than adjusting or adapting. This is not saying that my own experience is that shit or that great but it feels like that. This push and pull and the longing and the unwanting of trying to make new relationships versus accepting the undying truth of “you’re going to die alone someday.”

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Right Mindset

Mar 13, 2018 — Leave a comment

The distance between my first job and my second is about a 50-minute walk. It’s getting sunnier but at times the wind is what hurts the most. Despite that, it’s great to have a chance to see the city above ground and to get some fresh air, especially being cooped up for 8 hours. During this time I like to listen to some pump up songs. At the moment, my current obsession is some very particular Kpop songs and a few edgier tunes. Continue Reading…

The silence was too long due to the struggles of stringing together a semi-coherent story. My own refusal to commit to the project is mostly due to my fears. It’s strange to write about my own research and knowledge on the subject, but only to let the inner demons to haunt me from the inside out.

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Feb 26, 2018 — Leave a comment

It’s been about 54 days since my last cup of coffee. There are days when I feel out of it and want to give up, especially mid-afternoon. That’s when the aid of baby wipes or a splash of cold water around the eyes help get the sting out. Sometimes the use of eye drops are required to clear the fogginess that comes along with staying awake for so long.

Following a caffeine-free lifestyle has proven that it’s possible to wake up and rely on the internal energies that you naturally possess to jump start the day. Sure, the winter mornings can get the best of you and get you rolling out of bed at a snail’s pace. Then there’s the whole issue of having a big breakfast when your body doesn’t really want to eat at all. Besides that, mornings are generally OK.

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(Just because you won their love doesn’t mean you stop the pursuit of their attention, feelings, and heart.)

Love, as a word, is a limited.

Throw it away.

Toss it out.

Realize, all these different ideas we try to cram into it are utter bullshit.

There are those who believe that it should be this passionate fiery feeling that causes you to rip the clothes off your lover in some hypersexual lust.

Then, there’s the simple belief that it’s a multistage kind of deal where you move from that outside and then transition into a deeper and more companionship that is more rewarding and fulfilling.

Regardless of how you define it, the trouble lays in trying to get there. And usually, it’s this struggle of keeping the relationship alive and exciting and emotionally satisfying for the other – not so much the sexual stuff – through just showing that you care and still strive to win their heart.

For my perspective, as a straight male, it’s all about keeping the chase alive.

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(On the cultivation of Loving-kindness and how it can help with hatred, getting along with others, and self-hate.)

When we think of meditation, we usually have this image of a person sitting in the full lotus posture and focusing on their breath.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat to eternity or until you can’t feel your feet anymore.

For the longest time, this was the same image I had about meditation. Only this past Christmas Holiday I rediscovered the other way we could meditation.

Now, before I dive into the backstory of what led me back and the nuts and bolts of how you can practice, I want to say the many kinds of meditation techniques are wonderful tools for everyone — regardless of religious beliefs. It’s a great stress reliever and an anxiety management tool when dealing with different obstacles in life.

For this post, the name of game is Loving-kindness meditation (also known as Mettā meditation).

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