Nov 22, 2017 — Leave a comment

Everyone has their moments. The divide between professionalism and your emotions is a fine line between order and chaos. I’m sure that even the best will have their bad moments.

We have our intelligence.

We have our primal instinct.

The two are total opposites and always trying to gain the upper hand. And with this, it makes sense when the stressors of our lives pile on and on and on… until we break. Not everyone can handle the pressure and that’s when we see the difference between those we deem “professionals” or “cool under pressure.”

In the mythos of Buddhism philosophy, we can encounter three types of poisons — delusion, greed, and, what is referred to as, “aversion, ill will.

Basically, anger.

And this is a problem we haven’t really fixed in society. The amount of road rage I see in the world or the way people snake their way to work on the metro system, I can see the many unhappy faces and distressed looks of individuals ready to go off like a decades-old bomb — forgotten but never really.

Anger problems. We all have some form of it. And it’s not really correct to call it “anger” because not everyone would agree that they are feeling it.

“I’m just stressed” “I’m just having a bad day” “I’m not in the mood” “I just have a lot of things on my mind.”

Throwing languages aside and the efforts of trying to define what is what, let’s get down to the point — there are plenty of anger problems and there are not really many solutions to help cope with these problems.

I admit I have some issues with this seed of anger at the right conditions that allow it to fester and grow and warp my mind into a negative state that is foul to taste and displeasing to the eyes. I witnessed this again when I was trying to find the correct directions to a certain street with Bunny and started to feel the heat build and build when we started to disagree how to get to our destination efficiently.

I am making it vocal and trying to really put it in the forefront of my being because I feel that anger and anxiety and depression are all coming from a similar source. I have yet to prove this and truly explain why I feel this but I know this has something to do with my personality but at the same time it comes out in the right circumstances when I am in a high-stress environment or in a situation when there is that feeling that many people are observing or judging or simply watching me. There is that unnecessary need to quickly complete such a task with a sense of carelessness with no real need to.

What I’m going to experiment, and hopefully get some control, is to try and make myself aware of what my mind is thinking and try to stop it. This is referred to ANTs — automatic negative thoughts. I’m sure you have probably heard this term if you had your own quest into the world of trying to fight your own demons that plague your life through causing you pain in mental distress.

ANTs. It’s time to stomp them out. When the greatest enemy you will ever face is yourself, then it just makes sense to not ignore the problem and let it slip by the forefront of your attention. Now, to keep it in the crosshairs is going to be tough. ANTs are troublemakers and they’re tiny but in large numbers and if you forgot about them, then you’re going to go on with your day without notice of their existence.

That’s the pickle, my friends.

Some tips that I do remember, from the top of my head:

  • Physically say “Stop! I won’t let these negative thoughts affect me anymore” or any variation of a message to yourself to snap your attention to what your mind is trying to do.
  • Start singing like a fiend — it’ll get your attention off the bad thoughts and focused on the sweet melodies of whatever tune you’re trying to cover.
  • keeping active with some hobby — this will help tons when you’re waking up on a weekend with nothing to do and just letting your thoughts soak you to the bone.

Note that this is an incomplete post — because I haven’t successfully beaten the ANTs yet — and there are more steps that I haven’t learned or ultilized yet. I’m trying my best to revive the knowledge I have and going to come back to the program I had started awhile back to see if there is some kind of improvements. In the meantime, trying to become more aware of what’s happening when you’re going through your day.

In fact, I should add that throwing in some active breathing techniques will help too. There is always time to do some deep breathing exercises and to become more mindful of what’s happening around and in you.

One idea is that if you keep questioning your anger — keep asking why — to work backward on why you are feeling that way… then you will come to a conclusion that there was nothing at all to be angry about. Anger clouds our judgment, so we bring back some sense of logic and order to the chaos and try to slowly piece the puzzle back together and figure out the root of the problem.

By doing so, you solve the problem by thinking about your thinking.

Neat, huh?


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