The past weekend has been one of deep thinking. I’ve been pondering stuff like, “What am I to do after April?” or “The thing I’m doing, is it putting me in a standstill?” or even, “I NEED TO EXPRESS!”
All this is happening as I’m pushing forward with one of my own script ideas. I have been juggling between projects due to interest, feelings and if the story I’m trying to tell really worth pushing forth. There have been a few ideas I need to go back and revamp because lately, I’ve been discovering other movies that have the same surface idea that has been pissing me off. It’s so true that no idea is original. Anyway, they will be sitting on the backburner for some time.
The particular idea I have returned to develop, is the few pages of the play I wrote from Scriptwriting. I’m taking the gist of that idea and pushing forward with a film context in mind. The main characters are changing, others added, and it’s more realistic compared to the fancy pants of mockery I wrote before.
I don’t really give two shits if this story collapses in the long run… I need the practice. I’ve been in this void away from other creative people and it’s really killing me hard. Or so I think. Yes, I’m keeping in contact with them via social media but it’s not the same when you hang out in real life. But yes, this is all for the sake of feature film writing.
And if I’m ready to produce it into a no-budget movie, then fine, let’s do it. I’m growing up to terms that I will never be a great filmmaker or come out the gates with a bang. I just need to start telling the story. If I can satisfy myself and entertain a few people, then it’s good with me.
Which brings me back to the topic of what happens after April 2012: I have a few possible things in mind like 1.) Create my own web-series, 2.) Hire local camera pro and actors to test the waters with a short, and 3.) Make a no-budget film in my local town as a calling card to future projects.
In truth, number two can be switched with one. Test the technical skills of local peeps and actors so all I am doing is pretty much directing, meaning I’m not touching anything else except the action and working with the actors. Also, I don’t have to buy a camera then. Let them do the work and I pay to command. Not much but I still get to command. Muahahaha.
Working with a web-series can be great for experience. I regret not doing that earlier with my good friends but fuck it; I can weep and cry when I get old. If I want it, I have to take it. So that’s why I will probably work on this kind of project for practicing a longer form of storytelling that is a tiny bit better than making shorts. Because what I’ve been reading and studying, making shorts are great for demo reels but you can’t really sell them. Most people are getting into web-series on YouTube or feature films.
The last point is making a feature film in your local town. I had this in mind when I was moving out of Ottawa. I was in the middle of transition and I had no direction. If I had a decent script prior to May, ready to go… I’m sure I would’ve finished a feature length movie already. I think I could spend maybe… $2000-$4000 to make something decent. Beg, cheat, steal… whatever it takes to get it done.
But, you got to keep moving forward. I can’t dwell on past “mistakes.” All this happens for a reason because if I change one little thing in my life… I wouldn’t have met the cool people I have… the really cool folks who I can relate and talk to when I have to. These peeps are part of my filmmaking family. I have to embrace them and be grateful. And I have to believe in myself. That’s all I have to offer to the world.